I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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