It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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