We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
