I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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