life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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