That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he just fucked me for my cheese..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
