I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
