k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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