I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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