hell yes lets make some ravioli
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
