Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
