I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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