Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
