If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know her cup size but not her name....
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