I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
