he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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