True but thats because hes a fetus.
zippers are such a cool invention
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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