I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
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