I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
