I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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