Dual....:-)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
