I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
