drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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