I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
