We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
