I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
