theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize