I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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