white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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