Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
