You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
