This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
