I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
