Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
