dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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