Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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