508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Randomize
