Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Everyone says I win the strip club
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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