If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
