Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
