Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
