I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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