operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize