shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
