I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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