And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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