what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
