escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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