I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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