I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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