The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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