okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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