i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
We smell like vodka and hangover
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