Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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