woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
