man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
