Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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