We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
